TOP TIPS FOR A MEMORABLE WEDDING SPEECH!

Everything you need to know about writing wedding speeches!

Nothing is as memorable as that special moment – that “I do”.

But the speeches at the wedding sometimes come close. These moments can be among the most touching or the most entertaining, when they are done right.

Here are our top 10 dos and don’ts to do them right.

Don’t jump right in to telling jokes or recounting anecdotes. Everything needs an introduction, even a best-man speech or a parent-of the-bride speech.

Do introduce yourself. What is your name? What is your relationship to one of the couple? Give people some context for all that you are about to say.

Don’t wing it. This is no time to show up without having done your homework. This is a very special day for the newlyweds, and they deserve your best performance.

Do write it down. You can write down your entire speech word-for-word. Or you can work from bullet points. You can write it yourself if you are comfortable doing so, or you can hire a wedding speechwriter. However you do it, be prepared.

Don’t read your speech. Just because you have it written down, doesn’t mean you should read it to the audience. You want to share your thoughts with the audience. It’s a conversation. Speak to them. Nobody will mind if you are holding your paper, or even if you look down to remind yourself of what comes next. But they will want you to speak to them naturally.

Practice ahead of time. In fact, practice 100 times, each time letting yourself wander a little bit away from the actual text of your speech. When the time comes for the real event, you will have memorized the speech – not word-for-word, but idea-for-idea – and it will flow naturally.

Don’t cuss. There are probably three or four generations in the room, and not everybody appreciates a hearty expletive-laced diatribe. Swearing might seem like a funny thing comedians do, but it’s not that funny at a wedding.

Be family friendly. Make sure that nobody feels uncomfortable, and that everybody enjoys the speech.

Don’t tell inside jokes. They might not offend the way cussing would, but they will leave people confused and left out. It’s OK to make one reference that only a small group at the wedding will understand, as long as you find a way to signal that to the rest of the room.

Be inclusive. If you do make an inside reference, get back to material everybody can relate to. 

Don’t rush. You might be nervous. Many people speak too fast when they are nervous, delivering a five-minute speech in under three minutes. 

Pace yourself. Take a deep breath before you go up, so that you’ll speak at a comfortable rate. You might want to make physical breaks in your speaking notes, as a reminder to pause, hang on…OK, next thought.

Don’t tell random stories. You might recall a number of great anecdotes. But stringing one after the other doesn’t make for a very cohesive speech. It makes for more of a disjointed mess.

Make the stories flow together. Many anecdotes can form a logical, flowing speech. “That’s probably the main reason people come to me to write their wedding speech,” says speechwriter David Leonhardt. “They have their stories. They even have some pretty good wording. But they need help making it flow as one smooth speech.”

Don’t speak of past sexual exploits. If this isn’t obvious, it should be. Past partners no longer exist. The newlyweds might have done something fascinating with somebody (or somebodies) in a previous life, but we don’t talk about that anymore.

Do speak of how they met. Everybody loves to hear the inside scoop of how the couple first met. Or about how one of them met the other’s family. Those anecdotes always hold people’s attention.

Don’t talk about just one. You might be close friends with the one of the couple, and not really know their partner. But don’t leave them out. After all, this day belongs to both of them.

Talk about both, and more. Find a way to mention the other a couple times, even if you don’t know them that well. And thank the parents – both sets, ideally. If you can work them into any of the anecdotes, so much the better. Often, the speaker knows the parents of one newlywed very well.

Don’t drone on. Nothing is worse than a long speech with short content. Nothing…except several long speeches. 

Keep it short. Find out who else will be speaking, and assess how much you have to say. Four-to-five minutes is a good length if you have a few good anecdotes to recount. But if your content is thin and you are one of six or seven speakers, maybe settle for two or three minutes. 

Blog posts are a lot like wedding speeches. I won’t say more than is needed. Keep these tips in mind, and you are well on your way to delivering a wedding speech that is memorable for all the right reasons.

 Photography by Cara Chapman